The Especially For Men Guide

Beginner's Guide to Prostate Massagers

If you’ve never enjoyed the thrill of prostate play, then you’re missing out!

This internal erogenous zone is an incredible epicenter of pleasure. Massaging it via the anus can lead to explosive full-body orgasms, hands-free 'super-Os', and even multiple climaxes.

Discovering your prostate gland - or your P-spot - isn't that difficult, but pleasuring it properly takes a bit of time and skill. Luckily for you, we've pulled together this ultimate guide to prostate pleasure filled with tricks and toys to try.

How to find your P-spot

Your prostate is a walnut-sized gland located between the penis and the bladder. To find yours, insert one or two lubed fingers into the anus and feel around, pointing your fingers upwards. It will feel quite different from the rest of the tissue inside the rectum, so it shouldn't be difficult to locate. As a guide, it should be about 2 inches inside.

The P-spot swells when you're aroused, so foreplay or masturbation will make it easier to find and stimulate.

What are Prostate Massagers?

A prostate massager is a sex toy that’s specifically designed to stimulate the P-spot.

Most people with a penis move on to prostate sex toys once they've discovered the area with fingers first, but go with whatever feels right to you.

Most prostate massagers, have a tapered tip to ease insertion and a rounded head to ensure stimulation in the right spot.

Certain toys, such as a Prostate Massager that feature a wireless remote, will allow you to enjoy seamless anal vibrations with a click of a button.

Some also feature an external stimulator to give extra attention to the perineum, the sensitive area between the anus and the scrotum.

Although many people see larger prostate massagers as more advanced, the bigger ones, like the Lelo Loki Wave Vibrating Prostate Massager, are actually ideal for beginners as they find your P-spot much more easily.

Massagers with smaller tips, like Silicone Prostate Massager, make it slightly harder to find the prostate gland, but can make the experience more intense.

Deciding on whether you want a prostate massager with vibrations or not is a personal choice. Just remember - you can turn vibrations off if you don’t like them but you can’t add them to a non-vibrating prostate massager.

Whichever type of prostate massager you decide to go for, using them is much the same.

How to Use a Prostate Toy

Preparation

Start by making sure that you have at least an hour free to commit to focusing on your prostate massage, which means making sure that you have a private space to yourself and no distractions. You need to be 100% focused on how you feel and the pleasure in your body to give yourself an amazing, full-body prostate orgasm.

Also, make sure that you have been to the toilet at least an hour before starting the prostate massage. It is very important that you have emptied your anus and rectum of any faeces before you insert a dildo or massager into you. You could lay out a large towel across the bed.

Position yourself comfortably (on towel), either on your back with your legs raised, bent over with your upper body leaning on a couch or bed, or have feet flat on the bed near your bottom, this will help with inserting the dildo.

Insertion

Once you are in position and holding your massager, make sure you put a considerable amount of anal lubricant on the end of the massager and directly onto your anus. The more lubricant the better, as it will help make insertion easy and pain free.

If this is your first time indulging in anal play then make sure to go slow and steady.

Slowly press the end of the massager/dildo against your anus, taking your time and making sure that you are in a turned-on mood. You will need to be turned on for your body to let you have pleasure and experience prostate orgasms.

When ready, slowly insert the bulb end of the prostate dildo an inch inside your anus, so that the bulb is placed directly against the prostate, which (in this position) will be above the dildo but beneath your stomach/penis. I cannot stress how important it is to not push the dildo any deeper than this – the prostate is not far inside you!

Technique:

Once the massager/dildo is inside you by only an inch and resting against your prostate, this is as deep as you will ever need to go inside you. The motion that you make with the dildo (and, as with any stimulation, this can start off slow and then move faster only when you feel the need to massage your prostate faster) is a curved, upwards motion. This is basically causing the bulb of the dildo to move upwards, slightly angled, towards the prostate

Begin with a gentle rubbing motion, and make a mental note of which areas feel especially nice. You can then try applying more pressure to the area and seeing what effect it has on your body.

Many people find that firm pressure brings them closer (or all the way) to orgasm. You might also like to try an up-and-down motion, where the toy strokes over the prostate gland rapidly, for more intense stimulation.

When massaging your prostate, the only movement you need to make is a slight up-and-down motion. Over time, following the feelings of pleasure that push you closer and closer towards the feeling of orgasm may lead you to have a prostate orgasm. You can hold the massager at the other end with one or two hands.

Importantly, do not ever touch your penis! You may be tempted to and you may think that this will help, but the prostate orgasm only happens by stimulating the build-up of prostate fluid. If you stimulate your penis you will move this fluid away from the prostate, which will mean that you will not have a prostate orgasm. Don’t touch it!

With experience, some people find that they can achieve a hands-free orgasm by clenching and releasing their muscles and letting the toy move with the body. The most important thing to remember is to go slowly and experiment. If the first toy you try doesn't do it for you, don't give up.

Just remember: prostate milking and massaging are different from anal sex. Continue to engage in stimulation until you’ve achieved the pleasure you’re looking for.

Everyone is different and you'll be able to find the right fit for you.

Watch Out! (Wet Prostate Orgasms)

When doing this technique, you might feel yourself getting closer to needing to ejaculate from your penis (even though it is likely to be flaccid) and if you push forward towards this feeling, you can give yourself a short burst of a wet prostate orgasm, which will be an ejaculation of prostate fluid from your penis.

This can feel pleasurable and, unlike a semen ejaculatory penis orgasm, you can do this multiple times in one session, but if you do this it will be much harder to give yourself a dry prostate orgasm, as the key to giving yourself a prostate orgasm is to build up the fluid in your prostate. By doing this you release it all.

If you want to go for a dry prostate orgasm, when you feel this urge to ejaculate you should relax on massaging your prostate, slow down, calm down and make sure that you dodge/avoid giving yourself a wet prostate orgasm. This may be difficult, but after you avoid this, you will be closer to your dry prostate orgasm.

Dry Prostate Orgasms

After massaging your prostate for a while and slowly building the feeling of pleasure more and more, you may feel 'prostate waves'. These are pleasurable feelings, caused by massaging your prostate, that feel amazing and are a great sign that you are moving closer towards the big orgasm. For experienced individuals, it may only take a few minutes but for beginners, it can take 45 minutes to an hour to achieve this.

You will soon feel (almost out of nowhere) that you are on the verge of the most amazing orgasmic feeling, which is not the same as the feeling of being close to ejaculation. This orgasm feeling takes over your mind, your body and everything about you is urging you to move your massager with the exact precise movement and speed to push you closer and closer towards pleasure, until...

Out of NOWHERE, you feel the non-ejaculatory, full-body (and I mean full-body, across every part of you!) orgasm that (to me, at least) feels massively more pleasurable and amazing than any penis orgasm. When you are in the process of orgasming, you will likely continue to massage your prostate (almost without even thinking about it) and you will be very surprised by how long it can last – several minutes, or in some cases longer!

Eventually, after an incredible, full-body orgasm, you will slowly start to feel your mind return back to reality and you will notice that a) you are still flaccid even though it was the most pleasurable feeling b) you are exhausted (I would definitely recommend if you spent an hour working towards this orgasm, that you take a break) and c) you have the most amazing post-orgasm feeling inside you. Congratulations! The next time you have your session, you should find it is much easier and quicker to give yourself a prostate orgasm.

Tidying Up

After you have finished your session, make sure that you put your towel in the wash (check your bedsheets as well) and thoroughly clean your massager. Recommend that you have a shower and clean the lubricant from your lower body and anus. Once you are clean, stay relaxed and enjoy the post-orgasm feeling.

What Can I Do If I'm Struggling to Have a Prostate Orgasm?

This is very common (and normal) for the first time, especially if you have only ever had penis orgasms, which are very different. These are some tips and advice:

Make sure you are positioning the dildo/massager on the prostate. It is very easy to insert the sex toy too deep inside you (which will make it much less likely for you to orgasm) so only insert it an inch inside your anus.

Watch out for wet prostate orgasms. that have already been mentioned and although they feel really great, you will struggle to give yourself a dry, full-body prostate orgasm if you have ejaculated all of the prostate fluid out of you. You will find that when you are close to a wet orgasm, you are actually very close to a dry orgasm, so if you can avoid the wet orgasm (which will take a few minutes of restraining yourself) you will be close to the big one.

If you do find that there is some faecal matter on the sex toy, do not worry or get upset about it (it is a risk of massaging inside your anus). I would recommend stopping your session, cleaning your sex toy thoroughly and going to the toilet. If you do want to start your prostate massage again, it might be best to wait 30 minutes (or an hour) before starting again. This will give your body time to clear out the faecal matter. Then start from the beginning.

Erectile Dysfunction

Understanding Erectile Dysfunction and Its Impact

Medically speaking, erectile dysfunction is a condition where someone has persistent problems with obtaining or maintaining a penile erection that is hard enough and lasts long enough for satisfying sexual encounters, whether those encounters be solo or partnered. General dissatisfaction with penis function, such as erections that aren’t as hard as they once were or premature ejaculation, are commonly mistaken for erectile dysfunction but do not align with the true medical diagnosis of ED.

There is a wide range of possible ED causes, both physical (such as high blood pressure, clogged blood vessels, obesity, and medication side effects) and psychological (such as stress, anxiety, and depression).

Erectile dysfunction can take a toll on someone’s confidence and make it more difficult for them to have a sex life that satisfies them. However, embarrassment and lackluster sex are not symptoms of ED but rather symptoms of a society that prioritizes P-in-V (penis-in-vagina) sex over other sex acts and falsely equates virility to a man’s worth and sexual value. That may sound dark, but it’s actually good news – shame and bad sex can be overcome, no ED treatments necessarily required.

Sometimes it’s hard to get and stay hard. No worries – ED sex toys can help you obtain a satisfying sex life regardless of the state of your erection.

If you or a loved one are diagnosed with erectile dysfunction (ED), you may be entitled to financial compensation. JK! But ...Seriously ED impacts more men then you think.

For a diagnosis so common, the number of open conversations surrounding ED and ways to help those diagnosed improve their sex lives isn’t nearly as high as it should be, which is precisely why we wanted to increase ED visibility and discussions with this guide!

How Sex Toys Can Help with Erectile Dysfunction

Adding sex toys to shared passion can quickly elevate pleasure for both parties and can be a game changer for those who suffer from any type of sexual dysfunction. ED sex toys can be a great way to combat symptoms, whether that be in addition to or in the placement of other types of ED treatments.

Not only can sex toys for erectile dysfunction act as symptom solvers, but they can also lessen performance anxiety and stress. By having alternative methods of providing pleasure and obtaining and maintaining erections, you’ll likely find the pressure for your peen to behave perfectly diminishes as a result.

Top Sex Toys for Erectile Dysfunction and How to Choose Between Them

When choosing which ED sex toys to bring to bed, you’ll want to consider your specific ED symptoms and what your sexual goals are.

Individual ED symptoms will come into play in toy choices as different pleasure products offer different benefits, and you’ll want to find a sex toy that speaks to your specific concerns. For instance, if you struggle greatly to obtain an erection but have no problems keeping it up once you get one, erection-inducing penis pumps will likely help you out. If you can easily get a hard-on but have trouble maintaining it, products like cock rings that help erections stay put might be your best bet. Those with conccurring ED symptoms may find a combination of sex toys for erectile dysfunction a good fit for their needs.

In terms of sexual goals, think about which sex acts you’re looking to enhance. If you want to stick your penis in your partner, opt for toys that make penetration more accessible and pleasurable. If other forms of touch are on your path to pleasure, you might want to look into ED sex toys that don’t focus on penile penetration.

ED Sex Toys for Penile Penetration

Whether you want to facilitate a hard-on or give your hard-on a boost, these sex toy categories are fab options for those with erectile dysfunction who still want their peen to enter their lover’s sweet hole(s).

Penis Pumps

Penis pumps are sexual wellness products consisting of a tube and a tension ring. Also known as ‘vacuum pumps’ and ‘vacuum erection pumps,’ these ED symptom fighters pull blood into the penis using air suction, which enlarges the peen and prompts an erection that should last long enough to engage in sexual activity. Pretty nifty, huh?

To use a penis pump, take the cylinder or cup and run some thick water­based lubricant over the edges of the cylinder or cup. Sliquid Organics Gel and Hathor Sutil Rich lubricants are both thick lubes that are perfect for pumping. Now, once the edge of your cylinder is lubed up, simply insert your penis into the tube, and activate the suction with the suction starter (this piece may vary depending on what type of penis pump you choose). Let the pump do its thang for a few minutes (but no longer than 30 minutes!) until you’re satisfied with the state of your erection, remove the penis pump, and get to bangin’! After using a penis pump, you may want to add other sex toys like cock rings, penis sleeves, and penis sheaths into the mix to enhance or prolong your erection.

Penis pump safety tips:

• As previously stated, only use your pump for 30 minutes max.
• Carefully read and follow the instructions that come with your penis pump.
• Consult with your doctor before trying penis pumps.

When choosing a penis pump, make sure you factor in your penis size, as you may need a wider or longer version of the pump you’re considering to accommodate your length and girth. You can learn more about the different types of penis pumps here; Choosing the right penis pump.

Cock Rings

If you’re able to obtain an erection (whether that be naturally or assisted by a penis pump) but have problems keeping it up, you’ll find cock rings a perfect match for combatting your ED symptoms. Cock rings work by trapping blood in the penis, preventing or slowing blood flow that goes back into the rest of your body. By keeping the blood pumping in your peen, a penis ring should keep your erection going strong long enough to pump your stuff! Not only can cock rings extend the longevity of erections, but they can also make them harder.

But wait, there’s more! Depending on the design of your cock ring, it can achieve even more erotic benefits than prolonging and strengthening erections.

Vibrating cock rings transform you into a human vibrator, providing rumbly delights to both you and your partner. Many vibrating penis rings feature a protruding bit at the very top of them that targets the clitoris, making them a fan fav for wearers who want to give their vulva-owning darlings a little something extra during P-in-V sex.

And then there are cock ring combos that feature a secondary toy type attached to them, like penis rings with anal plugs attached so the wearer can enjoy some effortless booty stimulation and double penetration cock rings that allow the wearer to fill a vulva-owning partner’s vagina and asshole simultaneously.

It’s essential that your cock ring fits properlyin order to enjoy it safely and effectively. If your cock ring is too loose, it won’t constrict blood flow, making its benefits null, or it may fall off during play. A too-tight cock ring, on the other hand, could result in pain or injury. Another crucial safety measure is to wear a cock ring for no longer than 30 minutes.

Penis Sleeves

Penis sleeves are a bit like superhero suits for your junk – the fancy types that provide function like Iron Man’s, not decorative types a la Superman, of course. They’re sheaths that fully or partially cover the shaft, adding extra elements to your johnson like texture, vibrations, or more girth. Penis sleeves can also be beneficial in delaying ejaculation by acting as a barrier that lessens intensity for the wearer. Some penis sleeves are worn and kept on much like a condom, while others feature a ball loop to keep them extra secure while you do your biznass.

Sleeves can be helpful for those with erectile dysfunction by providing a coating of additional hardness. However, penis sleeves typically aren’t very hard (materials generally range from flexible to floppy), so you may want to use a penis pump before slipping one on if you need some assistance in achieving firm erections.

One significant differentiator between penis sleeve designs is the level of coverage they provide - full, partial, or minimal:

• A full-coverage penis sleeve wraps around the entirety of the penis and has a closed end, letting the wearer and their partner experience the FULL impact of its effects.
• Partial-coverage penis sleeves envelope most or all of the shaft but feature an open end that leaves the head bare so that the wearer can still have some direct contact with the inside of their boo’s hole.
• Minimal coverage penis sleeves cover only a portion of the wearer, like the top or underside, to provide maximum skin-to-skin contact while still providing pizazz like added girth or vibrations.

Putting on a penis sleeve is super easy – just add some lubricant that’s compatible with your sleeve’s material to your penis, and then inside of the toy, slip into your superhero suit, and voila! You’re now ready to go to pound town.

PRO TIP: If delaying ejaculation isn’t a goal and you’re worried about decreased sensation, you can opt for a penis sleeve with a textured interior that essentially acts like a stroker as you get your stroke on inside your partner!

Penis Extenders

Penis extenders are the intense cousin of penis sleeves (everyone has a super extra cousin, right?) - they, too, cover the shaft and can provide many of the same benefits as sleeves, but also fully cover the cock head with either a little or a lot of extra material at the tip to add inches to your wiener. Extenders tend to be a bit firmer than penis sleeves, especially girthier penis extenders, making them the unsung heroes of ED sex toys as they can quickly add extra hardness to your hard-on.

If you’ve ever wished your penis had shapeshifting powers, stop wishing and stock up on a variety of penis extenders instead! You can find these size-enhancing sheaths in an array of lengths and girths to suit your boo’s hole stretching goals. Penis extenders come in myriad colours, from realistic flesh tones to badass jet black. I also recommend purchasing a standing wardrobe meant for medium-sized dolls to keep your peen’s new jackets in. Not for any reason besides me thinking it would be cool, though. But, I mean, wouldn’t it be?!

Like penis sleeves, all you need for wearing one is compatible lube you’ll apply to the sleeve’s interior and your penis and the desire to rock on with a brand-new cock on.

Hollow Strap-On Dildos

Hollow strap-on dildos are invaluable tools for ED sufferers who want to have penetrative sex using their penis – even those who can’t obtain an erection whatsoever can use them! But first, a little background knowledge for those unfamiliar with standard strap-ons: strap-on dildos are dildos that can attach to a strap-on harness, allowing the wearer to penetrate their partner regardless of their anatomy or erectile state.

While traditional dildos are solid, hollow strap-on dildos are – you guessed it – hollow instead, meaning you can stick your peen inside it before sticking it inside your partner! Hollow strap-on dildos come in many forms: realistic, non-representational, and even vibrating! If you haven’t yet explored the world of hollow strap-ons, you’re in for an always hard and ready treat. Just make sure that the dildo’s canal isn’t smaller than your member’s girth, and you’re good to go!

Toys for Non-Penetrative Play

There are myriad ways to have sex and be sexually intimate that don’t involve your penis entering your partner’s body, which can be just as pleasurable (if not more so) than P-in-V, P-in-A, or P-in-M (mouth) sex! Open your mind to all the other erotic possibilities out there, and your sex life will surely thank you.

Male Vibrators

If you thought vibrators were only for vagina owners, you’ve been missing out on a hell of a good time! Rumbly vibrations can feel delightful on a wealth of different erogenous zones, including the penis! And that’s precisely what male vibrators are designed to do: stimulate your cock using the beauty of modern technology. Whether you’re rock hard, semi-erect, or completely flaccid, a male vibrator can do wonders for your penile pleasure receptors.

The ways to incorporate male vibrators into partnered sex are aplenty. You could use one on yourself while you go down on your partner or pleasure them in other manners, have your partner use one on you, bring it in during mutual masturbation – the sky’s the limit!

Prostate Massagers

Did you know that penis owners can have ejaculatory orgasms without their wangs even being touched? Yup, it’s true, and all thanks to the magic of the prostate, a gland found inside the rectum of penis owners. Prostate massagers are anal sex toys specifically designed to easily locate and stimulate the prostate (aka P-spot). P-spot massagers are fab sex toys for erectile dysfunction because they allow people with ED to experience out-of-this-world pleasure and climaxes regardless of the state of their erection (or lack thereof).

Prostate massagers come in vibrating and non-vibrating varieties. Non-vibrating prostate massagers are the best choice for P-spot play beginners as they may find vibration makes this new type of stimulation a bit too intense. Vibrating prostate massagers are an excellent upgrade for those who’ve been around the P-spot block and are looking to enhance their experience. Both varieties can be great for interactive couples’ play, depending on their design. Wand-style prostate massagers like the njoy Pure Wand are superb tools for those who want their partner to do the P-spot stimulating. If you want to get your boo involved with your vibrating P-spot massager, opt for one that comes with a remote or is app-controlled to put the power in their hands.

Tips for Introducing Sex Toys into Your Relationship

The idea of sex toys only being for solo play is so 2000 and late. Now a days, just about everyone is open to the idea of incorporating pleasure products in their shared sex lives. That being said, trying something new in the bedroom always requires a conversation prior to actualization (consent is CRUCIAL, folks!)

Though a conversation is necessary, it’s really NBD, so don’t fret. In the likely event that your partner is already aware of your erectile dysfunction, they’ll probably be extra supportive.

It’s important to discuss with your partner exactly which ED sex toys you’d like to bring to bed. Not all sex toys for erectile dysfunction will be a good fit for both parties. For instance, some may find the idea of a giant penis extender intimidating, while others might get giddy at the thought of taking on extra inches. Different strokes, y’know?

Frequently Asked Questions

Here’s the 411 on a few prevalent ED sex toy FAQS:

Can sex toys cure erectile dysfunction?

No, but they can help you manage symptoms and improve your sex life and can be a good alternative or addition to other ED treatments.

Are sex toys safe for people with ED?

Sex toys are entirely safe to use for individuals who have erectile dysfunction as long as the toys are used properly and any necessary safety measures are followed.

How do I clean and store my sex toys?

To keep toy time hygienic (a must!), clean your ED sex toys before and after every use. Warm water and a mild soap will work in most instances, but water-based sex toy cleaners are a safer bet as they’re specially formulated not to degrade sex toy materials and will keep things extra fresh. For storage, you’ll want to keep your sex toys separate from one another (sex toy storage bags and pouches are perf for this) and in a cool, dry place.

Which lubricants should I use with my sex toys?

The best lube for toy time will depend on the materials of your sex toys, as well as what type of sex acts you’d like to enjoy with them.

If your ED sex toy is made of silicone, you’ll want to use a water-based lubricant as other formulas can degrade your toy. If you plan on engaging in anal penetration, choose a lube with a long-lasting formula like a Water-Based Anal Lubricant.

You’ll also need to ensure that your lube's ingredients are compatible with any type of sexual barrier you may choose to use. Check out our Lube Guide to learn more about the different types of lubricants and what each is best for.

Final Thoughts on Sex Toys for Erectile Dysfunction

There’s absolutely no shame in using sex toys to combat the effects of ED. In fact, there’s no shame in using sex toys for any reason at all! We’re lucky enough to live in a time with super sexy modern solutions and intimacy enhancers available, so why not make the most of it? If someone tries making you feel weird or bad about your condition or the desire to use sex toys for erectile dysfunction, you’re probably better off with a more understanding partner. If someone isn’t gung-ho about getting it on with you, consider it their loss, not yours!