Advice Guide

Up and Over Position

How?

You’ll need a pair of ankle restraints or a spreader bar for this one. The receiver (or submissive) wears the restraints and lies on their back with their legs in the air and feet up near their ears. The giver (or dominant partner) faces the receiver and positions themselves on their knees with hands on either side to steady themselves as they penetrate.

Depending on how flexible your submissive is, use the restraints as leverage to reach their ankles behind their ears if they can manage it.

Why?

Lovers of deep penetration and bondage, sign up here. The angle of the submissive’s hips and legs creates an intensely satisfying fullness and tightness for both receiving and giving partner respectively. Plus, as both partners stay face-to-face, it’s a surprisingly intimate bondage position for both vaginal and anal sex.

Try

If your submissive is finding this position a cinch to hold or they’re getting a bit too handsy for the dominant partner’s liking, try restraining their wrists above their head as well for a higher level of control and dominance. The giving partner (whether they are wielding a penis or strap-on) might like to try wearing a vibrating butt plug or prostate massager to experience deep rumbles too.

Make it even better

Don’t limit yourselves simply to penetration in this position. With full access to the submissive’s most sensitive areas, the dominant lover should make sure they spend plenty of time teasing, licking and playing with their partner. Bring some leg-buckling vibrations in with a powerful massage wand or start slowly with a bullet vibrator you can later use to slip between the two of you during penetration.

Have Sex Once A Week For A Happy Relationship

Having sex every night can be tiring! Here are other ways you can be intimate with your partner.

How often do you have sex Daily, twice or thrice a week or once a week?

Answer with care as it might reveal how happy your relationship is!

Try phone sex/sexting: When penetrative sex is not in your plan, you can add zing to your life by flirting with your woman. And what can be a better way than sexting and sending her love messages when in office? If you are wondering is phone sex or sexting better than real sex, it is!

Watch a movie together: On days when you are too tired to get things going, you can watch a romantic or a horror movie on TV to keep the spark alive. It not only relaxes your mind but hugging your partner tightly is a great way to bond.

Plant a few kisses: Did you know kissing each other more often can break the ice between couples or act as a medium to call off a fight? Known to be an innate part of foreplay, kissing is the best way to convey love to your partner. Moreover, it acts as a perfect way to light the spark in your romantic life.

Play erotic games: Too bored to watch TV? Then play some erotic games to fill the atmosphere with some fun. A steamy night is all about having a pillow fight to naughty stripping games.

Is Masturbation Good for You?

Jacking off, rubbing one out, self love… whatever you like to call it; masturbation feels good and...

No matter what anyone else has told you or what you’ve read on a questionable internet forum while spiraling on Google… The answer is a big fat YES!

Masturbation is a great way to connect with yourself, enhance your pleasure, and improve your health, if you can believe it. Not only is masturbation very enjoyable, but it actually comes with a number benefits for your physical and mental health, as well as working wonders for your sex life.

Whether solo play is part of your daily routine, or you enjoy an occasional solo tryst, these tips, tricks and masturbation benefits will encourage you to make the most of your self-love sessions

There are plenty of reasons to masturbate. But don’t just take our word for it. Scientists have proven that masturbation - and climaxing in particular - causes your brain to release lots of different hormones that have a range of positive effects.

“Masturbation is a cocktail of neurotransmitters/endorphins, all of the feel good ones, including dopamine and serotonin plus the attachment/cuddle hormone of oxytocin. This is self-love on steroids, not only does it feel good in the moment, the physiological changes of arousal and orgasm are just plain good for your body, health and overall wellbeing.” - Dr. Megan Fleming

We’ll dive into the specifics below, so keep reading to discover more magic reasons for frequent self-satisfaction.

What are the Benefits of Masturbation?

1. It's a stress-reliever

If you've found that life's getting a little too hectic and you need to 'blow off steam’ as it were, then rubbing one out could be the solution.

By their very nature, orgasms are a release of tension. You feel a build-up and then a release; your muscles relax and that overpowering pleasurable feeling takes over.

As well as a profound physical release, your mind also benefits from the hormones released during climax. Dopamine and oxytocin (the happiness and love hormones) help to elevate your mood, making you feel calmer and happier. If this isn’t a great reason to masturbate, we don’t know what is.

2. It Can Help You Last Longer

This practical side effect of masturbation is particularly relevant for men who have issues with finishing too quickly.

According to sex therapists, people who struggle with premature ejaculation helped improve their stamina by masturbating around two hours before they had sex.

Masturbating regularly and trying techniques such as edging has also been proven to aid with climax control and improve stamina over time.

So the next time you’re thinking of rocking chairs and baseball during sex to stave off the inevitable, you may find that a tactical tug can help.

3. It Can Boost Your Immune System

Another epic side effect of masturbation is its immune-boosting power. Once again, you've got hormones to thank for this one. During climax, levels of immunity-boosting cortisol in the body are elevated, making it easier for you to fight infection and illness.

Having regular orgasms can help to increase the number of microbe-killing leukocytes in your blood, which help reduce your vulnerability to germs and decrease your recovery time during sickness.

You’re giving your body a helping hand, in every sense of the word.

4. It Improves Your Sex Life

Much like training for any big event, there are many, many ways that masturbation can help prepare you for more satisfactory sex.

Not only does it teach you what you enjoy (which you can then share with your partner), but it can also help strengthen your pelvic muscles. This can lead to harder, longer-lasting erections in men, and more powerful orgasms for both men and women.

Interested to know more about pelvic floor muscle training for women? See our guide on How to Use Kegel Balls for some tips on getting started.

5. It Helps You Sleep

Everyone's experienced that blissful post-sex snooze, and post-solo-playtime isn't any different.

As we've mentioned, one of the side effects of masturbation is the release of oxytocin and the relaxation of the muscles after orgasm. This helps to prepare the mind and body for a restful night’s sleep.

So if you’re ever experiencing insomnia or you just can't switch off after a busy day, you know what to do…

6. It Can Reduce the Risk of Prostate Cancer

A 2016 study revealed that ejaculating at least 21 times a month lowered the risk of prostate cancer by around 20%.

The reason for this is that over time, cancer-causing toxins can build up in your bladder, urethra, and testicles.

Regular ejaculation helps to flush them out, reducing the chance of a tumour forming.

As excuses for beating your meat go, we think that's pretty…unbeatable.

7. It Can Relieve Pain

Of all the reasons to masturbate, this is one of the most badass. Did you know that the endorphins released during climax can actually act as natural pain relievers?

Many people who have periods find that indulging in a solo session while on their period helps to ease the symptoms of menstrual cramping as well as boosting their mood.

There are also studies exploring the potential of orgasms to reduce headaches and migraines. Who would’ve thought that showing yourself some self-love is sometimes the best medicine?

Masturbation Tips

1. Add Lube

Lube reduces friction and increases glide. No matter what kind of play you are exploring, lube makes it better because less friction is more pleasurable. Stimulation that might feel like a dry match against your skin without lubricant, can transform into sensual touch with a high quality lubricant.

2. Set the Mood

We often romance our partners and rarely consider doing so for ourselves. Setting the mood with things like lighting and music can go a long way in upping our solo play game.

Think about things that turn you on. It can be anything from that pair of shoes you feel hot in, to porn or erotica. Bring those elements into your masturbation routines to help you get grounded and aroused. The more thought and care you put into your masturbation, the hotter it will be.

3. Switch it Up

We can get into ruts with any routine. Using your solo play time as the time you set aside to explore and try new things can be super fun.

When we introduce new sex acts or erogenous zones into couple's play there is built in pressure. Everyone wants to climax and wants their partner to have a good time too. Trying out new sensations on your own first takes the pressure out of the equation. You can always bring your learnings back to your partner for a little "show and tell."

4. Massage the Pubic Mound

In the spirit of exploring erogenous zones, let us introduce you to the pubic mound. The pubic mound is the area at the top of the genitals where the pubic bone protrudes out. (Think above the clit and the base of the penis).

Have you ever grinded against your partner or a pillow to get off? Or have you noticed during sex that close contact with this area enhances your orgasm? Well, the pubic mound is a hidden gem in the pleasure network. Massage in this area indirectly stimulates all of the juicy nerve endings in your bits. In fact, both the shaft of the clit and the penis extends inside the body. The only way to access that internal portion of the shaft is by massaging the pubic mound.

Applying pressure to the pubic mound with your hand, grinding on something (or someone) or with a toy is a great way to warm up or send your orgasm over the edge. Because the nerves there aren't right on the surface, you can stimulate the pubic mound to build arousal. A lot of people struggle with getting turned on solo. If I am describing you, make friends with your pubic mound.

5. Try a Toy

Our hands are great! Our partners are wonderful. But guess what? No limb or person can go hard or deep for 3 hours without losing steam. Toys come in handy (pun intended) when we crave that sweet spot that's just out of our reach or we require a type of stimulation or a level of intensity that we can't create on our own.

Toys enhance masturbation by engaging new erogenous zones, creating unique sensations or when we need to get the job done.

How often should you masturbate?

There’s no right or wrong answer to how often you need to jerk off; some people do it daily, and others can go weeks without. But as we’ve already explored, masturbation is perfectly natural and can help us be happier and healthier in our everyday lives.

Our recent survey for ‘Masturbation May’ revealed that 70% of our 2,000 participants masturbate at least once a month. When it comes to weekly wanking, 50% of single people said they enjoy self-love sessions multiple times a week, compared to ⅓ of those in new and long-term relationships.

This may not come as much of a surprise, since people in relationships tend to choose sex with their partner over solo sexual activity.

However, renowned ‘sexfluencer’ Ashley Cobb still emphasizes the importance of masturbation for everyone. She says:

“Single or coupled, masturbation should still be a regular part of one’s self-care routine as solo sex can help us with more than just sexual satisfaction.”

How much masturbation is too much?

While there’s no limit to how many times we can enjoy our bodies, just as with all things enjoyable (such as fast food, lie-ins, and binge-watching Netflix), you can definitely have too much of a good thing.

Excessive or rough masturbation can irritate the skin, and in some extreme cases can even cause tearing of the frenulum (a.k.a. snapping your banjo string) or the flinchingly-titled 'penile fracture'. Ouch.

So make sure that you listen to your body, and, if you experience any unusual side effects of masturbation including redness, soreness, or discomfort, don't power on through it.

Stop. Have a break. And, if it continues, go and see your doctor.

Using a good squeeze of lube can help reduce friction and add extra pleasurable extra slip and slide to your self-stimulation sessions, helping you masturbate for longer and more frequent periods.

After Dark Delights to Thrill and Fulfill You

When the lights go down, it’s time to heat things up.

We can all agree that some delights are best enjoyed after dark. Things like ghost stories, horror movies and those that go bump in the night. You know what we're talking about. That's right, it's nearly October, and with it the best time of year is upon us: prime spooky season.

Filled to the brim with ghoulish glee and equally eager to ramp up the raunch in our lives, frankly, the only thing we’re afraid of this spooky season is NOT getting what we want. Spiders, schmiders, we’re here for thrills, chills and dying happy on the hills of pumpkin spice. Or in the throes of orgasm, whatever works.

Seek our your next favourite after dark delight in our only somewhat seasonal selection of sex toys, role play costumes and bondage essentials.

Role Play Your Way

It's a costume-wearing time of year, so why not use a sexy role play costume to break down some barriers in the bedroom?

You may find it's easier to express what you want when you're pretending to be someone else. Whether that means dressing as a Frisky Flight Attendant and asking to pat down your partner before boarding (ahem), or donning a cap and badge to read someone the riot act, role play is a gateway to great erotic adventures.

Treat yourself to toys

Much like how the day after Valentine's day is prime time for buying yourself discounted chocolate, after Halloween is peak sweet treat season, and you don't want to miss out. You deserve something that will make you happy. Something that will give you orgasms for days to come.

In other words, as far as trick or treat goes, we're definitely team treat. Why wait till the festive season to treat yourself or your partner? To keep with spooky season, these toys are all dark as night. Because we're thoughtful like that.

Cuffing season, anyone?

In the northern hemisphere, this time of year is sometimes fondly referred to as cuffing season, where you attempt to land a paramour to keep you warm through the chilly winter months.

But if you already have a beau, why not try cuffing of a different sort? The bondage kind, that is.

Simple wrist cuffs are a quick and easy way to try out tie-and-tease. Add a blindfold into the mix and you might never want to see daylight again.

Close your eyes and enjoy

Sometimes, all you need for an after dark delight is the courage to close your eyes and dive in.

Luckily, our flavoured lubes and seductively-scented candles are here to make the shadows smell and taste amazing. Couple them with a touch of exquisitely silky orgasm gel, and you have an amazing evening of delight on your hands.

What are the different types of sexuality?

To help you on your own sexual journey, we're here with the skinny on the most common sexual orientations.

You have probably seen the acronym 2SLGBTQIA+ which stands for two spirit, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual sexual orientations. However, the multi-coloured rainbow of sexual preference is much more varied than the list we have provided below.

Numerous terms have been created to encompass the wide range of desires one may have, as well as how one may personally identify on the scale of sexual diversity. This allows individuals to choose a type of sexuality that suits their personal preferences, which can be very empowering. For some people, it may also be confusing, especially with new terms being created every day.

Finding your own sexual orientation is a deeply personal journey. If you feel confused about where you might fit in - it’s completely normal. But we’re here to help with a list of the most common sexuality types and all LGBTQ flags and meanings (that we could find anyway!). While this list is not exhaustive, it should get you started on identifying the differences between sexual orientation, and the pride flag meanings, which will hopefully help you on your own sexual journey.

What does sexuality mean?

Sexuality exists on a wide spectrum from heterosexual to gay, queer, and everything in between. It is an umbrella term that defines your sexual preference, and with whom you’d like to have sex. These terms are used to express the way in which we are aroused, as well as our desires and identity.

It is “describes the way a person feels toward people of a particular (or more than one) gender physically, sexually, romantically and / or emotionally,” according to the LGBTQIA

Sexuality and sexual preferences are fluid and ever-evolving. Unlike past, limited ideas of binary sexuality and gender, new ideas of sexuality are now more inclusive and changeable. This means you can identify one way one day, and a different way the next. This also means you can choose more than one way to identify, or even make up your own identity that suits you best.

You can also choose not to identify with any label or community at all, and that’s totally cool. There is absolutely no pressure to solidify your sexual orientation or sexual identity. You are free to choose.

Labels can be useful in helping people to understand where they identify, but they can also be restrictive as well. It is quite alright to explore different labels and see how they fit, or to avoid them completely. There is no right or wrong way to identify, as this is a part of your individual choice and freedom.

Sexuality is also different from gender identity, with which it is often confused. Gender refers to how one identifies as either male, female, or as a non-binary person, and is a socially constructed concept. This also includes agender, genderfluid, or gender non-conforming identities.

Gender is also fluid, and as one suggests, exists on a spectrum that takes into consideration a person’s:

• Biological sex
• Gender identity
• Gender expression
• Gender presentation
• And sexual orientation

These concepts make up the huge diversity of human gender social construction. Because, just like snowflakes, we are all unique!

Is it normal to question your sexuality?

It is absolutely normal for people to question their sexual identity. This often begins in our early teens or even earlier and can take a long time to figure out. You can also question your sexual identity at any age, and this may change over time as well. That’s why there are many terms that imply questioning - such as heteroflexible, queer-questioning, bicurious, or genderfluid. Questioning is the process of discovering your unique identity and can take as long as you need.

Whether you decide to tell others about your sexual identity is also a personal choice. You are under no obligation to “come out” to anyone, especially if it feels unsafe to do so.

If you are struggling with questioning your sexual identity, or just curious, check out our helpful resource below to find out which sexual orientation you may identify with most.

Types of sexuality

Allosexual

Allosexual is an umbrella term for individuals who feel sexual attraction towards others and a desire for partnered sex. So what is allosexuality? It is basically the opposite of an asexual, who are individuals who don’t experience sexual attraction, for the most part. Allosexuals may also identify with other sexual orientations like bisexual, straight, gay, queer, or more.

Androsexual

What is androsexual? An androsexual is an individual who has an attraction towards men or masculine genders, whether or not their crush was assigned male at birth.

Asexual

Asexual is an umbrella term for a broad spectrum of sexual orientations. It generally refers to individuals who feel little or no sexual attraction to others. However, being on a spectrum, there are variations of sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction one may feel towards others. Some of these include:

• Cupiosexual: An individual who does not experience sexual desire but still chooses to have a sexual relationship or engage in sex.
• Libidoist asexual: An individual who identifies as asexual, yet still experiences levels of desire that they satisfy via self-pleasure.
• Sex-averse: An individual who is not interested in sex or is averse to sexual activities.
• Sex-favorable: An individual who enjoys some sexual activities in some situations with certain others.
• Sex-indifferent: An individual who is neutral to sex and sexual activities.
• Sex-repulsed: An individual who is turned off by any form of sexual activity and by sex itself.

Aceromantic

An individual who has a romantic attraction towards asexual or “acespec” (short for ace spectrum or asexual spectrum) individuals.

Arosexual

Arosexual: when one’s sexual orientation is connected to their aromantic identity as well. Aceromantic (see below) is the counterpart of arosexual. They may find sexual labels not as useful in describing their overall romantic identity.

Aromantic

An individual who does not experience romantic attraction to anyone, regardless of gender orientation.

Aroace

An individual who identifies as an aromantic asexual and who experiences attraction other than sexual or romantic, and identifies with the third type of orientation label, such as platonic or sensual.

Bisexual

Bisexual refers to an individual who identifies as being sexually attracted to two or more genders, but not necessarily all. A person who identifies as bisexual can be of any gender.

What is the difference between bisexual and pansexual?

Pansexuality refers to individuals who may be attracted to all genders and is a broader term than bisexuality.

Bisexual vs pansexual? Either term is correct but depends on the individual. Some people may choose to use these terms interchangeably and may identify as both.

Bicurious

An individual who may be interested in sexual or romantic explorations with two or more genders, but may be unsure of how they identify.

Biromantic

An individual who feels romantically attracted to more than one gender, but not necessarily sexually attracted to multiple genders.

Demisexual

A demisexual is an individual who only feels sexual attraction to someone with whom they have an emotional bond. Demisexuality falls under the asexual spectrum, as most demisexuals are not interested in, or seldom interested in, sexual activities.

Gay

Gay is the “G” part of the 2SLGBTQIA+ acronym. It is an umbrella term for people who experience sexual or romantic attraction to individuals who are the same gender as they are. While traditionally it referred to “gay” men, it can be used interchangeably by any gender who identifies other than heterosexual.

Graysexual

A graysexual is an individual who experiences love and connection in nonsexual ways. They are part of the asexual spectrum and are sometimes referred to gray-A or gray-ace. They experience sexual attraction rarely, and often less than intense than other individuals.

Grayromantic: Similar to greysexual, a grayromantic does not experience romantic attraction strongly, or frequently.

Gynesexual

These individuals are attracted towards femininity, or female-identified people, whether or not their crush was assigned female at birth.

Heterosexual

Often referred to as “straight” people, these individuals are sexually attracted to people who are differently gendered than they are. In binary terms, this would refer to cis-gendered males’ or females’ sexual attraction to the “opposite” gender.

Homosexual

Homosexuality refers to those who are physically or emotionally attracted to people of the same gender, though it is considered an outdated term due to the negative connotations attached to it in the past.

Lesbian

A lesbian is the “L” part of the 2SLGBTQIA+ acronym. It refers to an individual who identifies as female and is attracted to other women. This may also include some nonbinary people as well who identify as lesbians but not as male or female.

Pansexual

A pansexual is an individual who can be attracted to all genders and sexualities, including nonbinary people. While similar to bisexuals, and sometimes used interchangeably, it is a much broader term.

Panromantic

Panromantic is an individual who has a romantic attraction, but not sexual attraction, toward people of any gender or sex.

Panromantic Asexual

A panromantic asexual is the same as a panromantic. In that, they can be romantically attracted to any gender. However, because they are also asexual, they rarely feel sexual attraction. In other words, their attraction is romantically based, rather than sexual.

Queer

An umbrella term for all individuals who fall under the 2SLGBTQIA+ spectrum. While it was once a derogatory word, it has since been reclaimed by the “queer” community as a celebration of not fitting the traditional social norms. When used by non-2SLGBTQIA+ individuals, it is considered an insult.

What is Questioning?

Questioning and Queer are often used interchangeably within the 2SLGBTQIA+ acronym. "Questioning" refers to individuals who are in the process of discovering their gender identity and expression, as well as their sexual identity.

Sexually Fluid

An individual who is sexually fluid is one who experiences their sexual identity as changing over time or due to certain circumstances. This means their sexual orientation is not fixed but flexible, and they may not identify with any specific sexual orientation at all.

How do I know if I’m gay?

There is no “test” you can take that will let you know if you are gay or any other sexuality for that matter. Sexual preference is a choice or a label that one may identify with if they feel it fits their gender and sexual expression.

You may be a male who is sexually, romantically or otherwise attracted to other men, but that doesn’t mean you identify as “gay”. As we have seen in this article, there are numerous ways that one may identify either sexually, romantically, emotionally, or even intellectually. Or not at all.

More Sexual FAQs

What is hypergamy?

According to Wikipedia, hypergamy is "marrying up", which is the practice of dating or marrying someone from a higher social-economic status than they are. It is most often practiced by women.

What is a throuple?

A throuple is a romantic or sexual relationship between three people.

What is a unicorn sexuality?

A unicorn is not a sexual preference. It is a person who wants to be the third party in a throuple or join an existing couple. This may be romantically, or for sex, and is popular in swinging communities. Unicorns are rare and hard to find, which is how the term got its name.